Sunday, March 10, 2013

Court Date This Week

We made it six more months.  Having 4 kids sure makes time move much quicker.  Court is this coming Friday the 15th.  We have prayed so much and done everything in our power.  At this point we just have to wait.  I have peace about the situation knowing that I have done all I can, and that its really in God's hands.  Peace doesn't mean that things will turn out how I hope they will.  Pray for the judge that he would have wisdom in making this decision.  Pray for our family as we wait these last few days.    

Roman 8:31-39 (NLT)

31 What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? 32 Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? 33 Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. 34 Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.
35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 36 (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”[a]) 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.
38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Almost 1/2 way, but not really

(written about six months ago)
Yesterday our new social worker came over for a visit.  This was the first time that she had been to our house and I didn't really know what to expect because the last social worker didn't ever stay longer than 2-3 minutes when she did her once-a-month check on the baby.  I was grateful that she walked all the way in my house and sat on the couch and asked me if I had any questions.  I feel like I have thousands of questions!  I explained to her that this was all really overwhelming and we had no idea what to expect.  That we have fallen in love with this sweet boy, but are afraid we will loose him.  She was very understanding and listened to all my concerns.  I really have no idea how much I am allowed to share, so I will keep it to explaining the process.  The process is different than what was originally explained to me.  Basically the hearing in March is to terminate services (or to reunify him with birth parents).  Services include visitation, parenting classes, and or drug rehabilitation.  She said if services are terminated at this point the lawyers contest this 100% of the time regardless of the situation.  Then there will be another court hearing in April.  If services are terminated at that point they will set another court date for 120 days after that for terminating parental rights and adoption.  So best case scenario is that this is all over and done with in Aug-September, unless of course he is reunified with birth mother/ father before then.  Worst case scenario is that it could drag on much longer than that.  The worst part is not knowing and it can go either way.  CPS will give their recommendation, but the ultimate decision is going to be made  by the judge.  We have been told that the judge who currently sits on these cases tends to favor birth parents.

Sunday, December 02, 2012

Little Man's First Birthday

Yesterday was the baby's first birthday.  It was such a privilege to be able to celebrate with him.  He is such a special little boy and we are trying our best to cherish the time we have been granted with him without being sad about the possibility of loosing him.  People keep asking if I am guarding my heart with him because of that possibility.  I don't know how to do that.  I don't know how to not love him like he is my own.  But, I feel like that is what he needs right now.  He needs a family and we would be short changing him to not give him that.  I am all in.  We all are, and I don't think we will regret that regardless of the outcome.

He has really come out of his shell.  Makes me realize how truly stoic he was when he fist arrived.  He loves to be the center of attention and hams it up every chance he gets.  He is starting to talk a lot more saying "Mama, Dada" (although we don't encourage this, but social worker said to let him call us whatever he does on his own.  I think he hears Luke and Susie say this so copies them.)  He is also saying "Hi, Bye, Thank you, Susie (Sissy), and Hailey (Hayee)".  He very rarely crawls any more and walks almost everywhere.  He loves to show off his tricks like clapping, dancing, and "SO BIG".  He is very determined and already throws a fit when he doesn't get what he wants by throwing himself on the floor and screaming.

The theme of his party was "little man", mustaches, top hats, and bow ties.  We are so thankful for the family and friends who came to celebrate with us.  So many people love this little man and are praying for him constantly.  God has big plans for him.  I know this is true because of the way He intervened so early in his life.

Monday, October 22, 2012

4 weeks down, 20 more to go

We are 4 weeks in to our 6 months of waiting.  I have to say these past weeks have gone both slowly and quickly.  Baby boy is having a hard time at night.  Think that he is having some night time anxiety and began to grieve the big change he has had in his little life.  Sometimes he is waking up every hour, other times he wakes up only a few times a night but stays awake screaming for off an on for an hour or two.  I am tired to say the least.  But, life is super busy with 4 kids so the days seem to fly by.

Visitations have been hit and miss which cause the whole family a little anxiety on Wednesday afternoons.  We never really know what to expect, and quite honestly, I feel badly leaving him at the CPS office for visits.  He has a lot of separation anxiety right now when Ryan or I even leave the room, but it what we have to do for now...  I feel like there would be more peace if there was consistency either way on the side of the birth mom.  Instead we are left in limbo and wait weekly to see what will happen.

On another note, he is walking, 10 months old and walking!  He is so proud of himself and laughs the entire time he is taking steps.  He has the greatest belly laugh and Luke can get him laughing with just a look.  He adores Hailey, Susie, and Luke.  He is always trying to get their attention.  I thought I could post this little picture of him walking since it doesn't show his face or identify him.  So here is a little sneak peak...

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Nothing is Certain

Yesterday was the first official court date for the little guy we have been loving the last two months...  Apparently the other court dates were hearings and didn't count.  So this is what we know... Nothing is certain.  I am learning their are no definites in the foster care system.  But, when the social worker told us this yesterday:

-We will have him for the next 6 months (at least).... unless something happens with his birth father.
-Visits have been reduced with birth mom to once a week... unless she starts being more constant then they will gradually increase them.
-Birth parents have 6 months from yesterdays court date until courts start terminating parental rights... unless they start doing what they are suppose to, then they can receive an extension.

Its hard to imagine having him in our home until mid March, and possibly having to say "good bye" to him at that point.  He will have lived over half of his life in this home by March.  Keep this little guy and our family in your prayers.  We don't know what the future holds, but we are thankful to have this time with him, and pray that he ends up exactly where he is suppose to be.

On another note, this was the first time that our social worker asked if we would want to be considered as possible adoptive parents for him if parental rights end up being terminated.  Of course I said yes!  I guess they are beginning to see the possibility that there may need to be a plan B if reunification is not possible.  She also made it clear that there is nothing set in stone and things can change constantly.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Roller coaster

Life so far having this sweet baby boy in our home has been an emotional roller coaster.  There is no doubt in my mind that this is the child God had been preparing my heart for.  At the same time all the uncertainty of our future together can be draining.  At times I feel like there is a possibility that I could be his Mommy, and I already love him as though he is mine.  Other times my heart aches for his Birth Mom and what she is missing out on.  Since he has been with us he has gotten his first teeth, learned to crawl, clap and say "YAY!", wave, and even can stand up on his own without holding on to anything.  He is such a gift!  I am trying not focus too much on the negative and be thankful for the time that I have with him.  I don't want to look back and regret not enjoying this time and worrying too much about tomorrow.  I just have to take it day by day.  It's a miracle that he is with us, and that is what I choose to focus on today.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Thursday, August 16, 2012

an unexpected gift

As you all know, a year ago last October we started the process of adopting again.  I felt a strong calling that there was one more kid out there that we could be there for.  As we started the process, both Ryan and I didn't feel right about moving forward.  It was a frustrating time because I felt that God had called me to play a role in another child's life, but at the same time moving forward in pursuing adoption just didn't feel right either.  As the year went on I started thinking about the possibility of doing the foster to adopt program locally.  Ryan and I prayed and talked about it and decided that we would attend the class needed to get this process started.  Obstacles kept getting in our way and we were unable to make any of the once a month meetings.  All during this time I had a strong sense that God was wanting me to wait.  I am not very good at waiting.  When I feel a calling or want something I go after it, so waiting was new for me.
Well, God did have a plan.  I cant go into details, but on July 12th we got a very unexpected phone call.  It was CPS and they asked us if we would be willing to care for a 7 month old baby boy.  Of course we said yes.  Again I can't go into details as to how this happened to protect the baby and his birth family.  Lets just say we have been in awe of how specific Gods plan was and all the details He prepared to make this all come together.  Most likely this is not a permanent placement, but there is no doubt in my mind that he is the one God was preparing my heart for.  For this season of his life we get to be his parents and are thankful for this unexpected gift. We take it day by day and are trying to enjoy each moment with him.  We are so thankful for all the support we have received from family and friends.  We literally had to get our house "baby ready" in a matter of hours and had so many people help us do that!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

A few pictures from the last few months

 Hailey got her first car

 Disneyland with Luke

 Hailey and Auntie Christie

 Susie's 8th bday


50's day at school 


 Luke says he is "The Professor" from Cars 2

Ryan and I went away just the two of us, on a much needed vacation to Tulum 


Almost Summer!

Getting so excited for the summer.  Susie will be done with second grade next week!  Ready to slow down and not rush everywhere.  I know that some people can't wait for school to start back up, and I do have my moments sometimes, but for the most part I dread the start of school.  I love having the kids home and the freedom to do what ever we want and be spontaneous.  I feel like the kids get a long so well when we are not rushed to go from place to place.  Besides the fact that Luke is starting Kinder in the fall and I am not going to have any kids at home with me.  It is going to seem too quiet when school starts back up.  Can't believe I am going to have a third grader, Kindergardener, and Hailey just finished her first year of college today!  So proud of all my kids!